Maybe, Someday
by SilverLine3
Summary: Love has no boundary. You hold on to it when you find the one. Sometimes all it takes is one wish for the love that can make you whole, and in that moment, you won't regret even to die for it. (Multi chapter fic for my drabble Maybe someday). Post season 6.
1. Prologue

_Stefan has been standing there in front of the mirror for almost an hour now. It's either the tie which for some reason kept loosening or the strand of his hair which didn't stay in place even if he placed a lot of hair gel and made it pointed. While buttoning up the collar, his fingers put a lot of pressure, and the tiny white button got freed from the thread keeping it on his white shirt, falling straight on the floor._

 _A sigh of frustration leaves his mouth. He turns around and walks straight to the Giant brown colored cabinet in his room. His cabinet is filled with a bunch of grey, black and white T-shirts, jeans perfectly ironed and folded and the shirts and jackets on hangars hanging on the left side of cabinet corner. Whoever knows Stefan Salvatore, they know that his tastes in the clothing might be smart, but they all are plain boring colors. Anyways, he needed another white shirt to go with his tux, and he had plenty of them._

 _"_ _Looks like some is having a wardrobe malfunctioning issue."_

 _Another deep sigh comes in an automatic fashion from his mouth. He is in no mood for comical, sarcastic comments, and wherever his brother is present, sarcasm comes as a package deal._

 _"_ _What do you want Damon?" Stefan asks, while unbuttoning the rest of buttons on the shirt he is wearing._

 _"_ _So, I can't even come to see my brother? I am really hurt." Damon pouts and walks towards the bed lying across the room in the exact middle section, and lie down, looking straight at the chandelier hanging in Stefan's room._

 _"_ _That much bored are you, huh?" Stefan turns around, and walks towards the mirror, tying up the tie for umpteenth time._

 _"_ _What do you mean?" Damon asks blinking at the chandelier._

 _"_ _Nothing."_

 _"_ _And since when did you started getting worked up for looking good and all that?" Damon question, and sits up._

 _Stefan doesn't reply. More like he just chooses to ignore his brother, because if he will say something there will multiple horrible comebacks ready from Damon. And Stefan doesn't have a mood for that right now._

 _"_ _What? Ken is getting ready for Barbie, not a big deal. And it's not like she cares for your dressing sense, because if she did, she wouldn't be dating you for past five years."_

 _"_ _You done?"_

 _"_ _Anyway, since when did you started getting worried for your looks? Just because your girlfriend spends hours in front of the mirror doesn't mean you have to as well. Maybe they do say it right?"_

 _"_ _What is that Damon?"_

 _"_ _A couple who stays together for long starts to act like the other."_

 _"_ _It's 'the couple who stays together, starts looking alike' Damon." Stefan corrects him._

 _"_ _Whatever, smarty pants."_

 _Stefan takes a deep breath again._

 _"_ _Speak." Damon prompts._

 _"_ _I have been making these plans for months now, and now since the day is here, I have this weird feeling that everything is going to go downhill." The plans for himself and for her…. Caroline. Even if he is tensed, just the thought of her brings a smile on his face._

 _"_ _You say you are frustrated, and yet you are smiling like a teen girl, what should I call that?"_

 _"_ _Nothing." Stefan knew it's a waste of time to talk to his brother._

 _"_ _So are you really going to propose her?" Damon was looking at his little brother, who was going to take a step forward for the biggest day of his life. For the first time in the whole conversation, Damon looked serious with no tone of any joke._

 _Stefan had discussed about the proposal with him. Who would he talk to anyways? The only two persons with whom he shares about his life are Damon and Caroline, and since he couldn't talk with Caroline about it, he had to put his faith in Damon._

 _Doesn't mean he had been easy on him. First time he heard about it, he almost rolled laughing on the floor._

 _"_ _We are vampires, we don't do marriages."_

 _Those were his exact words._

 _"_ _There was no doubt in that. Everyone knew that someday I will do this, so why not sooner." Stefan replied._

 _"_ _I don't know the logic behind your proposal because of all this vampire-"_

 _"_ _-Can't marriage and all. Yeah, you told me before your opinion about marriage. But, why Damon? Why is it odd for a vampire to propose?"_

 _"_ _Because there are humans who have limited time, and then there are us, vampires. WE have an eternity to live, why to bind with marriage stuff?"_

 _"_ _Because I think when you find the one, you don't wanna let them go, and it's just a way of showing them that you want to spend every second of your life with them."_

 _"_ _Then are you afraid that she might reject you?"_

 _"_ _No, it's not that. I want her to be happy, and if she doesn't want to…. I won't mind. It's her choice."_

 _"_ _And, are you happy?"_

 _Stefan glanced at Damon. His lips flickering with glowing smile. He didn't have to reply him, because his face was saying everything. Stefan can never be happier than he was at that moment._

 _"_ _You wanna practice or something? Because I can see you are having cold feet." Damon offered._

 _"_ _Ha. No thanks. I am good."_

 _"_ _Not that I am doubting your ability, but seriously, how exactly are you going to propose? I am curious."_

 _Stefan chuckled. "I have booked a restaurant."_

 _"_ _The whole restaurant?"_

 _"_ _mhmm." Stefan nodded while putting the cologne on himself._

 _"_ _That's it?"_

 _"_ _What do you mean?"_

 _"_ _I know how grand you are in expressing your feelings, and when it comes to love, you become all poetic and all. What am I missing here?"_

 _Stefan shook his head laughing. "Does it matter?"_

 _"_ _Yeah, for the sake of my brain's health. You are making me anxious now."_

 _And when Stefan didn't respond, Damon continued. "Where is this restaurant exactly?"_

 _"_ _Stop investigating my proposal, Damon."_

 _"_ _Hey, you wanted my help, I am just checking whether your proposal is sappy or not."_

 _"_ _Shut up." Stefan was about to say more, when he heard a noise right outside his room._

 _"_ _What's that?" Stefan jerked his head on his left on the commotion. And when he concentrated on the sound, his heart started to race._

* * *

 _"_ _And don't forget the-"_

 _"_ _-icing. Yeah, I know Caroline. I am putting it right now."_

 _"_ _And what about-"_

 _"_ _-the open bar? Yeah, that has been taken cared by your secretary."_

 _Caroline started making a mental check of the stuff that were still remaining._

 _"_ _Care?" The voice halted her thoughts. "Everything will be fine. You are doing perfect."_

 _"_ _Yeah, but it's tomorrow Matt, and there are A LOT of stuff remaining to be done before tomorrow, and by a lot I mean A LOT." She practically shouted at Matt, more like she shouted at the speaker in her car._

 _"_ _Who can know that better than me?" Matt laughed, and Caroline was sure if he was standing in front her right at the moment, she could see his eyes glowing._

 _"_ _I don't know about that, but I do know that if you have taken the responsibility, nothing is going to go wrong."_

 _"_ _Yeah, pressurize me more won't ya."_

 _"_ _It's not a time to freak out Caroline, it's the time to enjoy the moment."_

 _"_ _Ha. Easy for you to say. You are not the one who has to finish up every single work before tomorrow."_

 _"_ _Hey I am helping you with the icing."_

 _"_ _That's because Bonnie can't know about the cake, AND that's the sole reason for me to ask you for the help."_

 _"_ _You are so kind with words, Caroline."_

 _"_ _Buttering me up won't do any good to you. Save it for later."_

 _"_ _As you wish."_

 _"_ _But don't forget to call me when the caterer comes. I have to talk to check with him for the menu in person."_

 _"_ _Sure, and Caroline, everything will be over before you come here."_

 _"_ _Let's see. Talk to you later."_

 _"_ _Are you at Stefan's place?" Matt asked before she could end the call._

 _"_ _Yeah. Why?"_

 _"_ _Nothing… will talk to you later. Bye." And the call went dead._

 _She frowned at the way Matt ended the call, as if trying to dodge some kind of question. Caroline shook her head, since for the next 24 hours her whole schedule was packed up, and worrying for something out of scope wasn't included._

 _Caroline turned her car to the right entering the Salvatore property and pulled her car in front of the boarding house. Since she was busy with the preparation, she had asked Stefan to pick her dress up. And as usual he didn't object in doing so._

 _ **Few hours before**_

 _"_ _Everything is messed up here, and everyone's brain is literally frozen. I mean, they can't do anything without my guidance. How the hell-"_

 _"_ _-Caroline. Calm down and tell me what do you want me to do?"_

 _"_ _Pick up my dress." She sighed._

 _"_ _That's it? Consider it done."_

 _"_ _But, are you sure? I mean I don't want to be a kind of girlfriend who bosses around their boyfriends."_

 _Stefan chucked on the phone. "Caroline, I will pick the dress. Don't worry."_

 _"_ _Thank you."_

 _"_ _Ok, gotta go. Love you."_

 _She couldn't hear his reply, because her phone died. "Ugh."_

 _And now here she is, in front of the Boarding house, for the dress. And also because she was missing Stefan. It's been about seven years since she fell for him, five years of being together, but it still feels like a fresh breath. A smile automatically comes on her face just by the thought of being with him. She and Stefan… who would have thought? Irony was that when they met for the first time, the moment her eyes fell on him, she dreamt about the fairytale date with him while he dreamt of a fairytale story with Elena. But, that was all in the past now. Today, Stefan is here, and he loves her._

 _She turns the knob and opens the front door. Boarding house has never changed in the past six years. She wonders if it ever did. She looked around the living room, which was empty and since she could hear the muffled voices coming from upstairs, she knew he must be in the bedroom. So, she quickly started to walk up the stairs._

 _"_ _So are you really going to propose her?"_

 _She heard Damon asking the question. She was still near the room, and thanks to vampire's super-hearing, she could hear each and everything clearly. At least when she wants to hear. And the matter of proposal had all perked her ears up._

 _Propose? Did she heard it correct? Did Damon actually said propose?_

 _"_ _There was no doubt in that. Everyone knew that someday I will do this, so why not sooner."_

 _She tried to take a deep sigh, her eyes were getting blurry because of the new information she got._

 _"_ _Then are you afraid that she might reject you?"_

 _"_ _No, it's not that. I want her to be happy, and if she doesn't want to…. I won't mind. It's her choice."_

 _She could feel the ecstasy in every single bone inside her body. Although, she was pissed at Damon a little, for interfering in the conversation all the time, but also somewhat happy for asking the questions, because now she could hear Stefan's answer._

 _"_ _And, are you happy?"_

 _She waited for the answer, standing in the middle of the hallway. There was no response, and she wanted nothing but to go and have a peak at his face. She was standing right outside Damon's room, which was right across Stefan's room._

 _Maybe there is no harm in taking a glance._

 _"_ _Not that I am doubting your ability, but seriously, how exactly are you going to propose? I am curious."_

 _"_ _I have booked a restaurant."_

 _"_ _The whole restaurant?"_

 _"_ _mhmm."_

 _"_ _That's it?"_

 _"_ _What do you mean?"_

 _"_ _I know how grand you are in expressing your feelings, and when it comes to love, you become all poetic and all. What am I missing here?"_

 _Stefan shook his head laughing. "Does it matter?"_

 _"_ _Yeah, for the sake of my brain's health. You are making me anxious now."_

 _"_ _For the first time I am on your side Damon." She muttered. It's kind of sneaky to find out about the surprise he has been planning for so long, before he could even try it on her, but she can't help herself. The anxiety to know more is killing her. And even if she loves to plan the best surprises for others, she never liked to be kept out of any kind of loop._

 _"_ _Where is this restaurant exactly?"_

 _"_ _Stop investigating my proposal, Damon."_

 _She was jumping inside out at that moment. Is it a dream? Or is it real? And in that moment, she might have kicked a vase, or was it a sculpture. She didn't see it, and didn't care much since it belonged to Damon._

 _The only problem was… they might have heard her. Thus, she traced her way back down to the living room._

 _"_ _Oh my god." She whispered. In the matter of seconds, she had practiced her all kinds of surprised expressions, since she didn't want to hurt his feelings. She can totally play it, when will the drama major come handy anyways._

 _She heard the footsteps behind her, and knowing that he might doubt her, she pulled her best face possible and before turning around and said, "Hey, I was just looking for you."_

 _"_ _Same here." The voice was calm, and wasn't anywhere near Stefan's. It was a woman's voice._

 _Caroline turned around, and her the shock hit her to see the person standing in front of her. "Lily."_

 _"_ _Yes… Lily… Lily Salvatore." Her eyes were fixed on Caroline._

 _Lily had disappeared and last time she saw him, it was five years back. Maybe she came to visit her sons. But, that didn't make any sense to her, since Caroline knew how things ended up between them._

 _"_ _Are you here to meet Stefan and Damon?" She asked._

 _Lily smiled. "You have no idea why I am here."_

 _Caroline frowned._

 _"_ _What do you mean?"_

 _"_ _It will be over in seconds. And I hope you won't feel anything."_

 _Before she could ask anything else, things happened in the fraction of a second. She could see the stake thrown at her direction, aimed directly at her heart. She should be running away from it, duck in to dodge the shot, but she couldn't even move in that moment, as if stuck, glued to the air around her, forcing her to stay at the position she was._

 _That's it. This is the end. She thought. The only instinct left inside her was to shut her eyes, waiting for the fear to go away._

 _However, when she opened them slightly, she saw a black thing in front of her, sheltering her. She blinked her eyes twice, and figured that the black was the color of Stefan's tux. She looked at him, who was smiling at him, and she smiled back too with a confusion, because the smile wasn't a peaceful one, it was filled with pain. Her eyes slowly fell on his chest, the sharp end of wood sticking out of his body._

 _"_ _No." Her eyes went wide. "This can't be happening." The words whispered through her mouth, at the exact moment his legs started shake, losing the strength to stand._

 _At one side, Damon was sitting, while on the other, it was Caroline. She took his head and slowly put it on her lap. "No, no, no, this can't happen again." His tan colored skin tone started to change into ashen grey in front of her eyes._

 _"_ _Stefan, look at me, you can't go." Damon hurriedly removed the wooden stake that was stuck in his heart. "You have to stay with me. Stefan…"_

 _He was struggling, his throat was choking and out of oxygen. He saw his brother, and then he looked at Caroline. Her eyes were filled with tears._

 _"_ _I… love….."_

 _She nodded, and waited for him to complete the sentence._

 _His eyes looked lifeless, transfixed at her, his mouth half open, trying to complete those unfinished words._

 _"_ _Stefan?" She called his name. His eyes were still staring at her._

 _"_ _Stefan!" She shook his shoulder. "Stefan…. Stefan, you were saying something. And you know how I get annoyed when you almost stop in the middle of a sentence."_

 _"_ _Caroline…" Damon called her, but she was busy talking to Stefan._

 _"_ _Stop, playing with me okay. And I know you have to say a lot. So, now get up and finish what you started."_

 _Damon put his hand over her shoulder. She looked at him. "Tell your brother to get up."_

 _"_ _Caroline… he is"  
"DON'T..." she glared at him, shutting him off. "Don't you dare? He is going to get up." _

_"_ _Caroline, he is gone." Damon turned her to face him._

 _"_ _I said, don't say that." Caroline shrieked. "He isn't… gone. Stefan, tell your brother that you are still here. Please." The tears, the sobs she had been trying hard to keep within, started to come out. She was breaking, and even though Damon hugged her, which he would have never done before, and once he did, she broke into the floods of tears._

 _"_ _Stefan… STEFAN…"_

 _His name was echoing in the empty air around them, but there was not a single response from him._


	2. 1 Hymn for the Missing

**Chapter- 1**

 **Hymn for the missing**

"Finding someone you love and who loves you back is a wonderful, wonderful feeling. But finding a true soul mate is an even better feeling. A soul mate is someone who understands you like no other, loves you like no other, will be there for you forever, no matter what. They say that nothing lasts forever, but I am a firm believer in the fact that for some, love lives on even after we're gone."  
― **Cecelia Ahern** , **P.S. I Love You**

The birds are flying silently without any chirping in the morning sunlight. The silent winds are blowing away the curtains of the room swiftly. The bed is made perfectly, because no one slept in it last night. The room is filled with her photographs, smiling and laughing, different picture frames having her and Stefan inside. In one of them, they were almost having a water fight, while some of them were simply the selfies.

 _"_ _Stefan… smile." Caroline nudged him, while taking the position._

 _"_ _But, I AM smiling."_

 _"_ _That's being grumpy. THIS-" She stretched her lips, going ear to ear, and showed him her face. "-is smiling. What you are doing is just twitching your lips."  
"Hmm… is that so?"_

 _"_ _You have got perfectly healthy lips, put them to some use."_

 _"_ _Really… so, what about…" He turned her around to face him. "...to put my lips for other purposes." He leaned at her._

 _"_ _Stefan…" she whined. "Don't ruin the pictures. It's for the picture book I am making for Bonnie."_

 _"_ _I think she would like it this way… it's much better." His hands slowly moved up to either side of her cheeks, stroking them softly through his thumb. He moved forward, leaning towards her, and taking her lips under his own. She giggled in between kisses when she couldn't keep it to herself._

 _3…_

 _"_ _Caroline!" He scoffed dramatically. "Don't ruin the picture, and concentrate."_

 _2…_

 _"_ _Yeah, riiiight….Go away, I have a lot of things to do."_

 _1…_

 _The countdown beep on the camera came to finish, and clicked at the moment she almost pushed him away._

Caroline stared on the picture frame. She was supposed to paste that print in the picture book she was making for Bonnie. But, she kept it for herself. It was ruined with them moving a lot in the picture. That's what she told herself. She wants to push him away one more time, to feel him again, to feel the touch of his skin under the palm of her hand. One more time. And she knows she will be able to do so again. She feels like that. He is not really gone. They have fought with so many supernatural things in their life. Brought people back from the death, brought him back once, then why shouldn't it happen this time? Why does she feel like he is still here? She turns around in the room to look for him.

 _Caroline…_

She could hear him everywhere.

 _Caroline…_

She could hear him now, calling her from the right side of the room.

Maybe if she concentrate too much, she can see him too.

So, she closes her eyes, and concentrates all her thoughts on his face. She can see him standing there in her favorite white shirt and black jeans, with the black jacket on. She holds her breathe, to take it all in. And watching him smiling at her is all the worth for. The longer she kept her eyes closed, the longer he stayed, and everything remained normal. And, when she opens her eyes, he is gone. Just like the morning dream, he disappeared.

"Stefan?" Maybe calling his name could work, and he will appear in front of her. She holds on to that. But, he didn't.

"Caroline?"

She hears her name again through across the hallway. It's not Stefan though. If only life was so easy for her.

"Hey." Bonnie says walking into the room. "How are you holding up?"  
Caroline looks at her, and then at the hand size folder she had been holding the whole time. "We still need to get the flowers." She said, while going through the checklist.

"Are you sure about it?" Bonnie takes few steps more towards her.

"Yeah Bonnie, I am sure about it. The flowers are not done yet. I am thinking of going with either white or blue. But, we can decide that once we are at the shop." She says and grabs the purse.

"I am not talking about the flowers, Caroline… and you know it." Bonnie takes another step towards her and looks straight in her eyes.

Caroline knows what she is talking about. But, she is not ready to talk about it to her, or to anyone, because if she does then everything happening becomes a reality and it will be really hard for her to shut her eyes and go back to the bliss of ignorance, to see him again.

"We are getting late, let's go."

"I think we need to talk before you leave this room." By the look at her face, Caroline knows she isn't going to leave her alone until she talks with her.

"Whatever you want to talk about…. It can wait."

"Other side is gone." Clearly ignoring what she said, Bonnie starts. "And I tried looking into all the books, but I couldn't find any possible way of bringing him back."

"I know that." Caroline says, hoping that she will stop. She knows it already. They have talked about it already, and that's why she is preparing for his funeral.

Stefan isn't coming back.

And there is no way of bringing him back.

"I am sorry, Caroline."

"You have said that a lot of times too. And it's not on you Bonnie. So, don't apologize for something which isn't in your hand."

Bonnie nods, but she doesn't continue the conversation. And Caroline is glad for that.

"Although it should be me apologizing to you."

"It's not your fault either." Bonnie says. "It can wait."

Few hours ago, Caroline was busy in preparing for the wedding day for her two closest friends. Bonnie is more than a close friend, she is her best of the best friend. And Matt is her childhood friend, her ex, and someone for whom she cares about a lot. Few hours ago, she was laughing and giving instructions to Matt about getting the cakes and flowers, and few hours later she is busy in choosing the flower color for Stefan's funeral. Funny how things work. And it's so funny that she can't even laugh about it.

* * *

 _"…_ _Which category should I put you in?" She asked the question slowly, dreading for an answer. What if he said something which her heart couldn't bear?  
His lips quivered, and eyes tried to stare away. The look on his face was enough for her to know what was going to come._

 _"_ _Caroline…. I wanna talk about all of this, I do… but, when all this is over." He was trying to ignore the talk. That's only thing she could think of._

 _"_ _Yeah… yeah, sure. I am so sorry."_

 _"_ _Hey…" He came forward to take her in his arms, hugging her tightly in his embrace. "Don't be sorry."_

 _At that moment, she knew that she has lost him. Things can't go back to being normal, he probably was regretting their first kiss. And all this pain was hurting her really bad._

After hours of going through her wardrobe she had decided to wear the black skater dress for the funeral. She put the bobby pin at the back of her head to keep her hair tied up. Almost 24 hours have been passed since his death, but it still didn't feel like he was gone. 24 hours had passed since she heard his voice, and 24 hours had passed and nobody had left the side of her, especially after everything that happened last time during her mom's funeral, with her shutting off the humanity and everything, she knew it was going to happen.

It's a small ceremony in the graveyard with close friends and family. Bonnie, Matt, Alaric, Jo, they all were standing beside her. Elena came as well. She had been living in New York these days. She is a human now, and good for her that she has been away from all this supernatural drama. The Michaelson family also came. She didn't expect them to come on such a short notice.

"I know you are not happy from my presence here." Rebecca said.

"But, you still came."  
She shrugged her shoulder. "It's Stefan. I had to come."

Whatever Rebecca was, and even if Caroline disliked her, Rebecca did loved Stefan once. She will give her that.

Klaus had come too.

"How are you?" He asked her.

Everyone had been asking her that question for the last twenty four hours, and honestly, she had no idea how to respond to this question.

 _Yeah, I am fine… but she is not._

 _No, I am not fine… who would be in this situation?_

 _Don't worry, I am not going to turn it off….. Because I know you are judging._

"I don't know." She answered finally. "And I don't really wanna think about the answer either."

"I can understand." He said. "If you need anything Caroline, just remember that I am here, and you can come to me for any help." He left her alone, standing a little afar.

Tyler was a little late, but he managed to come.

"Sorry, my flight got delayed." He said after he hugged her. Even after the breakup, they had managed to remain friends, and care about each other, it's been a very long time since they dated, and now it's all in the past.

"It's okay. Important thing is you made it."

There are friends surrounding her, and then there is Damon. 24 hours have been passed since he had said something other than huhs, yeahs, and some grunts here and there. He had been in a fight with Bonnie, blaming the magic because they are unable to bring him back. He had argued with Caroline for having the funeral at the first place. He was so mad at her that he decided not to join them at all.

Caroline looked around to check if he probably changed his mind and came there. She couldn't find him anywhere. Damon deals with the grief either by being angry or by killing people. She doesn't want the second option for him, but it also doesn't mean she wants the first option. In all these years, Caroline had made her peace with him. He is Stefan's brother, and he cares about him a lot. He isn't her favorite person of the world, but she can't put her in her hate list either.

 _"_ _Your brother needs you Damon." She shouted at him in the morning._

 _"_ _My BROTHER, needs me to find a solution to bring him back."_

 _"_ _The other side is gone."_

 _"_ _Then there will be some other way. We always find a way to bring each other back. And that's what I am going to do. What I don't understand is the way you are behaving." He was bitter, but his last statement hurt her._

 _"_ _What's that supposed to mean?"_

 _"_ _You are the person who never gives up on people. You try to find ways to fix things, don't you?"_

 _She remained silent for him to finish it up… or not. On second thoughts, she doesn't want to hear this from him._

 _"_ _How can you give up right now? On my BROTHER? You think, planning for this funeral is the best thing to do right now? Even after knowing that there are people who came back from the death. Remember I and Bonnie were stuck in the prison world and we came back. It could be something like that. He might be in some of those prison world. We need to bring him back."_

 _Prison worlds were made by the Gemini Coven, and so she talked with Jo about this. According to Jo, and Bonnie dying didn't work like that. And Bonnie was transported to the prison world because of her Granny. Damon just got lucky in all that. There was no way Stefan could have transported there._

 _She sighed, she was exhausted. "Fine, don't come. Even for your brother… do whatever feels "right" to YOU."_

 _She left him grumbling behind._

She had a feeling that he will still come. If it was anyone else, it wouldn't have mattered, but it's Stefan, and Stefan loves his brother a lot.

Stefan loved him a lot.

She corrected herself, and something ached in the middle of her chest.

She saw the casket going down, and that was the final blow. Everything started to sink in. He wasn't going to come back ever.

"Thank you all for coming here on such a short notice." She stopped, wasn't able to continue. Lost for the words, she closed her eyes, hoping that she didn't have to say anything.

 _"_ _Do you miss them?" Stefan asked standing beside her._

 _"_ _Yeah… I can never not miss them. They are my parents, my family, and a part of me is gone too with them." They used to visit her mother's graveyard regularly. "And it still hurts to think that she isn't alive anymore, and I get to live forever."_

 _He took her hand, and gave it a soft squeeze. He didn't say anything, but his touch was enough to let her know what he was conveying._

 _"_ _It's not fair you know."_

 _"_ _I know."_

 _"_ _Sometimes I feel so alone in this world."_

 _"_ _Ouch." He mumbled which made her chuckle._

 _"_ _You know what I meant."_

 _"_ _Still hurts." He pouted._

 _"_ _Do you miss her?" Caroline turned her head to look at him. He was still staring at the words engraved on the stone._

 _"_ _She is my mother… and even if she isn't the person she used to be, I still do miss her." He took a deep breath. "But today isn't about my mother. It's about Liz."_

 _"_ _I don't like graveyards." She looked around herself._

 _"_ _I know, and that's why I couldn't let you come alone."_

 _"_ _Sooooo… you are saying that you will keep coming with me to this place forever?"_

 _"_ _Yep."_

 _"_ _So, you won't leave me alone with my mother?"_

 _"_ _Oh, that I will. But, I will stand a little far away."_

 _"_ _Uh-huh."_

 _"_ _Keep an eye on you." He finished his sentence._

 _"_ _Sooooo, I really can't get rid of you?" The tease was all over in her tone._

 _"_ _Do you want to get rid of me?"_

 _"_ _I didn't-"_

 _"_ _Because, wishes do come true. You never know what you say and they come to reality."_

 _Caroline stared at him. She couldn't believe what he just said. Even if it was meant to be just a joke she didn't want him to make fun of it._

 _"_ _You think it's funny." She gritted her teeth._

 _"_ _I didn't mean to hurt your feelings Caroline." His facial expressions changed from lighter tone to a frown and serious look. "But, I am not wrong, like every night you wish for my body, and you get…"_

 _"_ _OH MY GOD… STEFAN" She smacked on his left arm. "I can't believe you just said that…. in front of my mother."_

 _Even though she had to be angry at him, she couldn't keep the smile away from her face._

 _"_ _But, am I wrong though?"_

 _"_ _That's not the point." She crossed her arms across her chest. "And by the way you are not making a good impression in front of my mother by talking like this."_

 _"_ _Caroline…. We all know she loves me."_

 _She rolled her eyes, and grinned at her. "I will be around, just… call my name if you feel too lonely standing here."_

 _She smiled, and pushed him mumbling, "Go away."_

"Life isn't about the final moments." She opened her eyes, remembering the day, the moment, the feeling of Stefan standing beside her. "It's about the moments which led up to them." She couldn't say more than that.

She had brought the photograph she had been staring at in the morning. So, she kept it on the top of the casket, and whispered, "I wish for you to be here… with me. I wish to see you once again." Her voice was so low that nobody could have heard her, not even the vampires around her. But, she hoped that he listened to her wish.

* * *

Its night, and everyone is gone from the graveyard. Except for Caroline. She is still here. And Bonnie. And Elena. And Matt. And Tyler. They don't want to repeat the mistake they did last time of leaving her alone. But, what they forget is the fact that they all are humans, and if she switched her humanity off, they all will be in dance. Well, not Bonnie. She has her magic, and she can stop her.

But, Caroline isn't going to do anything like that this time.

"We should go home." Elena said.

"I said before, I am not going to do anything stupid, so you guys really don't have to keep a check on me." She was hoping that they all were convinced. "You should go back and rest. All of you."

"And what about you?" it was Bonnie this time. "You need rest too."

"I will come in a while… I promise. I just need some time more stay here…. Alone."

"I don't think it's a good idea Care." Matt said. "And it's not because we don't trust you, but because you don't have to stay alone."

"I think leaving her alone for some time won't be bad." Tyler looked at her, like he was the only one who understood her this time. "We will be here somewhere. Just call if you need us, okay?"

Déjà vu hit her hard. She could still hear his voice saying to call his name. She nodded at their friends and turned around to stand near his tombstone.

"Stefan."

She called his name once, hoping for a response.

"Stefan?"

The air around her felt nothing but empty.

"Stones don't talk back, blondie." She heard the voice of a Salvatore, just not the one she wanted to hear. "You know why? Because, they are not alive."

"I thought you were not coming here."

"And I didn't come here. I am stalling in the middle of the night." Damon said approaching her, and stopping near her, facing the tombstone.

She remained silent. She wanted to stay alone here, and even that she couldn't have.

"Are you keeping an eye on me? Because I am not going to turn it off."

"I know you won't." He replied.

"Then why the hell are you here? You didn't care enough to be present in the funeral."

"Because he is my brother, and coming to the funeral meant to give up and admit that he is gone forever now."

She didn't reply. She of all people could relate to how he was feeling.

"But, he had always hoped good for me, hoped that I could be redeemed. And he loves you. And I don't want to disappoint him. I am not checking up on you to see whether you turned it off or not, but because just like Stefan, you are family now, and if I was responsible in his death, I don't want to repeat the mistake with you."

It was the first time, she heard something like this from Damon about her.

"Thank you."

That was the only thing she could say.

She looked at the engravings on the stone.

 _ **'**_ _ **Here lies Stefan Salvatore, brother, friend, mentor and the best person you could know in the world'**_

She stared on those words, trying for one more time.

"Stefan"

She called his name for the last time, crossing her fingers for a response. But, apart from the blowing wind moving the leaves on the trees, there was nothing that could prove his presence around them.

He was gone for good.

* * *

 **A/n:** few things to keep in mind- this fic was designed and written before season 7 happened, even before season 6 episode 20, so a lot of stuff won't match with the current storyline of the show. Elena and her sleeping curse never happened in this verse. She is human and her storyline will come later in the fic. Since I never knew bonenzo was going to happen, they didn't happen in this fic, thus I apologize for any bonenzo fans if it offended you that she is with Matt in this story.

Let me know in the comment box below how is this new fic? Thanks for all the support, you guys are the best.


	3. 2 where I belong?

**A/n:** few clarification before proceeding with the story. This story is mainly written from Caroline's POV and how she is going to interact with other characters, and their story will be explained through her. I accidentally tagged Bonnie and Damon in it since I thought them being the secondary characters for the story are important to be tagged. However, that made some confusions with the readers. I apologize if it gave any wrong impressions. I have removed the tag, as the focus point for this story is only Caroline (and Stefan).

To the guest- thanks for review :) Damon and Caroline interactions will be there in future chapters. I am glad you liked it. And yes he IS dead, for real. But, next chapter is gonna explain/ answer a lot on this :)

Infintiy- Yeah, it's sad too that he died. But, hopefully in this chapter you will get some hint where it's going :)

* * *

 **Chapter-2**

 **Where I belong?**

"It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things."  
― **Lemony Snicket** , **Horseradish**

She has read those lines before, have tried to understand those words back when her dad died. She tried once again when her mom was gone forever, and everyone knows how that went. But, she thought that was it, and now there won't be anyone leaving her, there won't be any deaths around her. Not in this century at least, considering the fact that Bonnie and Matt are healthy enough to live a longer life. And most of all, she never thought it will be Stefan dying on her. She thought they had a lifetime together. She thought they have an eternity to spend with each other. What she didn't consider was to live a life without him. And the fact that he is gone is sinking in now.

For the past few days, when nobody left her alone for even a minute, they managed to distract her. Physically she was present with them, but emotionally, she was all over the place. They were worried for her, and because she didn't want them to be, she acted normally, talked normally, behaved like she's brave. She wasn't though. In the end, it was all an act. They all probably bought it, credits goes to her drama major she did years back.

Even he used to give her credits for that.

 _"_ _We are taking this." She said reading the price tag._

 _"_ _No, we aren't." Stefan replied._

 _"_ _Yes, we are."_

 _"_ _Caroline… this won't go with the place." He stated._

 _"_ _What would YOU know about the latest trends?" She commented, which made him furrow his brows._

 _"_ _Ah, you think I don't have a taste in fashion."_

 _"_ _Oh you have a fashion sense, I won't deny it. But it's still stuck in some 18_ _th_ _century."_

 _He shook his head, and mouthed a straight no._

 _"_ _I don't get it why you are having a problem only on a freaking dining table?"_

 _"_ _Oh, not just the dining table." He crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking around himself, staring on most of the furniture she had picked in the showroom._

 _"_ _Huh." She stared at him with her right eyebrow raised asking him for more explanation than his previous statement._

 _"_ _Come on Caroline, these stuff are good, but they are…"_

 _"_ _They are what?"_

 _"_ _Too loud."_

 _"_ _Loud?" She repeated in anger._

 _"_ _And not practical."_

 _"_ _Really?" By now, she had also mimicked him in standing with her arms crossed across her chest._

 _"_ _Yeah, I mean Glass swans? What are we gonna do with them?_

 _"_ _Put them for decoration, Stefan."_

 _"_ _They look so outlandish, and it is defin" He stopped in the mid-sentence, hanging on his unfinished word. Until now, he was talking, but now that he looked at her, he knew he touched her blind spot._

 _So, to convince her, he started his sentence from the beginning._

 _"_ _Josie will definitely break those glass things."_

 _"_ _She won't."_

 _"_ _She is kid, she can."_

 _"_ _Not under my watch, she won't."_

 _"_ _But, what if you are not there, and she kicked it accidentally, and all glasses are shattered on the floor. It's too dangerous." He reasoned, and saw her eyes flickering a little. Enough to know that she is getting convinced._

 _"_ _Okay, fine. No glass stuff, but what about the wooden furniture. What's wrong with them?"_

 _Nothing, he thought. Just the fact that they looked like they belong to some Castle in one of the European countries._

 _"_ _Caroline, I already said that. Too fancy for our apartment."_

 _"_ _Out of all the things in the world, you chose the furniture to fight over with me."_

 _"_ _I am not fighting"_

 _"_ _Arguing then."_

 _"_ _Not arguing either."_

 _"_ _Giving me your bad opinions."_

 _"_ _For which you brought me here. You wanted my opinions."_

 _"_ _Of course I want your opinion."_

 _"_ _And I am giving you my opinion."_

 _"_ _So, if I take these stuff against your opinion, you won't mind?" She asked._

 _"_ _I will mind, but if you will take it anyways, it won't matter would it?" He never usually do this, but arguing about this was kind of fun. It always had been fun with her._

 _She took a deep breath, and looked at him with a face which he pretty well knew was the Caroline speech face._

 _"_ _When I was a seven year old kid, I was riding my bicycle, and across the street I saw a couple who were buying furniture for their apartment in some showroom, and everything they picked was so beautiful, and I wanted them all. But, when I asked mom to get those for me, she told me that one day I will have a beautiful place which I will call a home, and it will be my own little castle like the ones I read about in all those fairytales. So, I should preserve this dream for that moment. And the moment is here, Stefan. It has always my wish to pick up the furniture for my place with someone I love. It's my dream."_

 _"_ _What… to have a house which looks exactly like coming out of pottery barn catalog?"_

 _"_ _Look, I can't and won't take these stuff if you are not happy. But, I am just telling you the reason behind it."_

 _There was slight twitch on his lips, but he contented his smile there. He was having way more fun watching her convincing techniques._

 _"_ _Okay, but what am I getting out of all this?"_

 _"_ _Um, how about I will let you keep that ugly thrown you brought with you from the boarding house."_

 _"_ _That's an antique." The tone of his reply felt like he was offended._

 _"_ _Of course it is." She commented, and she didn't mean it in a good way._

 _And now his looks matched his tone making it as definitely being offended._

 _"_ _Wait, so you were not letting me keep it before?" He pointed his finger at her._

 _"_ _LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE." She shouted almost in his ears. "With this table… and other furniture, you are getting something too."_

 _"_ _You didn't see the bed, w"_

 _"_ _Already picked one." She smiled radiantly because she could see that he was convinced to get all of it now. "Let me show you."_

 _They turned around to ask the salesgirl standing in the showroom._

 _"_ _What's the durability of this bed?" He asked, studying the edges of the wooden bed frame._

 _"_ _It's really strong, and one of the best product from our company." The sales girl replied._

 _"_ _That's cool, but how much weight it can take, how much strength you know." He said._

 _The salesgirl being the only confused girl standing there, looked at Caroline, who smiled at her awkwardly._

 _"_ _Ignore him." She said._

 _"_ _But, you like loud." He said, and he could see the miniscule of sweat drops on her forehead emerging._

 _"_ _Shut up."_

 _"_ _Well, I meant loud stuff. But, of course we can't keep breaking the beds you know."_

 _"_ _Alright, listen we are taking all the stuff you showed us. Now, just forget what he said, and let's settle on these furniture." She looked straight in her eyes, and commanded._

 _"_ _You were right. It was fun. Thanks for asking me to come."_

 _"_ _Regretting it now."_

 _"_ _Loving it now."_

 _"_ _You are an ass, you know that right?"_

 _"_ _The one you love?"_

 _"_ _Whut?" She turned around to stare at him in horror._

 _"_ _You said you wanted to by furniture with someone you love, which had always been your dream as a kid."_

 _"_ _I-"_

 _"_ _And I am smart enough to join the dots."_

 _It felt so good to hear it from her. And Stefan can give anything to hear it again and again._

 _"_ _I will go and pay."_

 _"_ _So, you won't mind me getting these?" She asked again, feeling hot in her cheeks realizing what she said few minutes back. After everything they have been through, admitting to the fact that she is in love with Stefan, was hard and understandable._

 _"_ _Of course not Caroline. It's your wish. Hell I won't even mind if you wish for a horse right now."_

 _Caroline chuckled._

 _"_ _But, don't. Really. Because then that will give Damon a chance to make his snarky comments and will say that we packed snack for ourselves."_

 _"_ _I won't ask for that." She laughed._

 _"_ _But, I like the idea where you are going with it." She said._

 _"_ _Of course you did." He replied back._

"So, what do you think?" Bonnie's voice cracked into her memories, bringing her back to the present.

"About what?"

"Staying with me for a while."

Caroline looked around herself and realized that she was in Bonnie's car, driving back to her place. Their place. Their home.

"I have to go there someday, why not today," she replied while looking outside of her window.

Bonnie didn't argue or push her against her will. She never does. There is a reason why they have been best friends for so long. She understands her. And Caroline is glad about this, because if it would have been someone else, they might have still been talking to convince her for staying with them.

"Did you hear anything from Elena?" Caroline asked.

"Yeah, she called this morning. She reached New York."

Caroline nodded. "Did she talk to Damon?"

Caroline's voice lingered. It's been years since they broke up, but Damon never moved on from her, neither did Elena. But, since the break-up was mutual, neither of them complaint. At least, not in front of each other. She was actually impressed by how Damon handled it, giving his past record with managing emotions. Elena was a mess too, but she is Elena, she always make it work.

"Yeah, she went to see him. But, I don't know the details," Bonnie replied.

"Still not talking to him, huh?"

Bonnie didn't respond in words, but her fingers clutching tightly on the steering wheel, give away how she was feeling.

"He didn't mean it, and you know that," Caroline couldn't believe that she was defending Damon of all people. Maybe in the current situation, she was the only person who could understand what he was actually going through. They both lost the family.

"Yeah. I know that."

The way she talked, it was clear that Bonnie didn't want to have this conversation right now, and so Caroline didn't ask anymore question. Probably later, when she is ready to talk about whatever happened between them the night… the night…

She stopped herself from thinking anymore. She needed something else to talk about, or else her mind would explode.

"Alaric and Jo must be back in Dallas by now too." Caroline continued.

"Jo and the kids are back to their place. Alaric I think is still with Damon."

"Hmm…" Good for Damon. He needs someone who can keep an eye on him.

"And Tyler had some urgent meeting, so he had to fly back as well." Bonnie said before Caroline could even ask.

That's good. People will be going back to their normal life. Everyone except her. She is stuck in the past, all alone without him. And she is angry about it. Not because everyone is able to move on from Stefan's death so easily, but because even after all the support, she is all alone to deal with this.

"What about the date?" Caroline asked suddenly.

"Which date?"

"The wedding date! When is it?" Caroline needed to ask this question. She couldn't help but feel angry and guilty and wants to blame someone other than herself. Bonnie deserves her happy life.

"We haven't talk about it, yet."

"Is it because of me?" Her anger is pouring out of her system.

"Caroline, stop being so hard on yourself."

 _"_ _You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, Caroline."_

His voice hovers over her, like he is still around, breathing the same air like her.

"What choice do I have?"

Be angry on the person who came to kill her and instead killed her own son? Be mad for letting her escape from the spot. She closed her eyes, counting down the numbers starting from one, two, and three. She needed to calm her nerves down.

"We are here."

She heard squeaks of the tires when Bonnie hit the brake pedals in front of her house.

"My house is always open for you," Bonnie said, before Caroline could open the door.

She nodded and smiled at her friend.

But, right now she has to deal with this alone, or else she would never be able to do so.

* * *

Bad idea. She thought.

She stood there on her doorstep, staring into her house.

One step. Just one step, and she would be inside her place once again.

Taking a deep breath, she put her left foot inside, followed with her right one, and locked the door behind her. It's not late to turn and run into Bonnie's car, she won't have gone that far by now.

Her steps moves forward one after another. She wanted to be alone, and now that she is away from all of her friends, all of her memories are rushing into her head. The dining table she managed to buy despite of his annoyance, is still placed in the middle of their living room.

She hates it, she hates the table, the refrigerator, the curtains, the couch and everything which is reminding her of Stefan Salvatore. She doesn't deserve it. If he is gone, why does she has to deal with his absence? It is not fair on her to look around herself, and every inch, every corner reminding her of him, biting her on the face for all those unsaid words, the conversations she always wanted to have, but never did, or just kept it for later time. She hates that chair sitting on the corner of the room, and she hates….

She stopped, breathing the air in and out silently, blinking at the black blazer hanging on that chair. She moved forward to take the blazer in her hands. It's just a fabric of cloth. She reminded herself. But, she couldn't help but bring it closer to her chest, and how could she deny the fact that it still smells like him, feels like him. She closed her eyes, and she could almost see him wearing it and embracing her in his arms.

And that's when it starts. Her eyes blurring, mumbles turning into weeps, and ultimately turning into screams. She is crying loudly in pain. It hurts so much that she thought she would die of the pain emerging in the middle of her chest. She drops to floor, bawling under her own embrace, holding herself enough through each of her arms so that she won't fall.

It is becoming harder and harder for her to bear the pain of the reality. She stands up in an instant, and runs to her room, without looking at every stuff around her, and searching for the only thing she needed at the moment. She found the laptop sitting on his study table across the room. The table was occupied with the bunch of stuff, a small globe, a photo frame of her picture, some document holders, blank papers, the laptop, and his journal. The journal. Her fingers move swiftly and slowly over the edges of the brown cover. Maybe if she read it, she can feel he is still here.

She almost opened it. Almost.

Probably, it was her control-freak side who took over her, and she put the journal into the drawer. Not today.

She took the laptop, and sat on the floor, resting her back on the white wall of her room. She couldn't make herself sit on any of the chair or the bed. His memories are crawling all over her.

She open the tab on google chrome, and types in. First step in moving on is to get rid of the memories.

She puts the details about every furniture in her house, takes the pictures, and uploads them for sale. She would be ready to give it away for free if that's what would take to get free from the pain.

Soon, someone will see the advertisement, and she will be fine.

She is going to be fine.

Her eyes falls on the reflection of her on the laptop screen whose lights have turned down, and all she sees is him.

 _"_ _Eyebrows?" She laughed in confusion._

 _"_ _Mhmm."_

 _"_ _So out of all the stuff you could have said you like about me, you picked my eyebrows?"_

 _"_ _Because I love it. But I also love your eyes, and how the color pops when your eyes glow with excitement, and I also love the red in your cheeks whenever I tease you."_

 _She laughed again._

 _"_ _I love your earlobes, and how they are soft to nibble." His words followed with his action._

 _"_ _Hey," her laughter echoed in his ears, "it tickles."_

 _"_ _I have to express what I mean," he continues with his list, "I love the rosy lips and how they are fuller and so tempting. But, your hair just drives me crazy."_

 _"_ _Really?"_

 _"_ _Yeah, whenever I see them, I have this urge to move my fingers through those curls, inhale the jasmine smell."_

 _"_ _I am pretty sure my shampoo doesn't contain jasmine fragrance."_

 _"_ _It's not your shampoo!" He stated. "It's all you."_

 _She was about to say something, but he shut her off by saying, "I am not finished with my list."_

 _"_ _I am waiting."_

 _"_ _The things next in the list are under demonstration only," said Stefan, and his lips softly touched the skin on her neck._

She could see her curls on the screen, and remembered only how much he loved them. Anger bubbling inside her veins wants to vent out. It needs an outlet, and selling the furniture is not going to help much.

She takes her car keys, and walks outside of her house. It's insane how this place is trying to eat her alive… or dead since she is a vampire.

* * *

She turns her car around, takes one of the spot in the parking lot. The lot is pretty empty with one or two cars standing. It must be a slow day. Good for her, it will be faster.

She holds the door, and she catchers her reflection once again.

"Hello, how may I help you?" asked the guy walking towards her. When she didn't move, he asked again. "Ma'am, do you need a haircut?"

"Uh, yeah… yeah I do." She was getting a weird feeling of someone pulling her away.

"Come on in."

He directs me to sit on of the chair, and wraps a navy blue colored cape around me. "Is this comfortable for you honey?" He asks politely.

Nope. Nothing is comfortable for me. She wants to reply that, but just gives him a nod.

"So, is there any specific style you want to cut them in?" He asks while getting ready with all his haircut gadgets.

"Nope, no style," she responds in less words.

"Okay, and how much length do you want to keep them?"

"No length."

He frowns standing behind her.

She sighs, and explains herself. "I want to cut all of it."

"All of it?" He repeats her words in a gasp.

"Yes, all of it." She tries to ignore her reflection in the mirror, and the more she sees it, more she sees the truth staring at her.

"I think you should sit for a while, and think over once again. I will bring some water for you."

"I don't need water, I just want to get rid of them all," said Caroline irritated by the delay.

"But, you have such a gorgeous and healthy hair."

She doesn't need to hear it from a stranger, she knows it.

"What if you cut them all, and they didn't grew up the way you want them to be?" The barber continued with his reasoning.

Good point. And giving the fact that she is a vampire and dead, she doesn't even know if they will grow again at the first place or not. But, that's all the point. No growth, no hair, nothing to think about anymore.

"I don't care."

 _"_ _Caroline."_

She turns around to stare at the man standing behind her.

"How do you know my name?"

"I don't," he replied.

"You just called me."

"No, Ma'am if I don't know your name, how could I call you?"

She looked back in the mirror, staring between her face and the guy's face. He was confused, and worried.

No, she doesn't want any more people to worry about her.

"Are you going to cut it or not?" she asks again.

 _"_ _Please, don't."_

The voice again. And this time she paid attention to the guy's face. He lips were not moving at all. Is she hearing voices now? Or maybe the barber is also a ventriloquist and playing with her.

"Are you sure about it?"

"Yes," she replied back.

The guy took the scissor in his hand, putting his thumb and the index finger of his right hand through the holes and brought the scissor near her hair.

Any second, the process will begin, she would be free of them.

"Caroline don't do this, please."

She almost jumped on the chair, and the guy followed the motion.

"Miss, are you okay."

She wasn't. Because, this time along with her own reflection, she saw two more faces in the mirror, and one of them belonged to him.

She was imagining stuff, and it's the last thing on her to do list to get his hallucinations.

"Madam?"

"Huh?"

"Are you okay?"

She didn't know what to answer.

* * *

 **A/N2:** To all the readers- hope you enjoy it. If you liked and had a good read, don't forget to hit the follow button and yeah let me know what you think about it in the review section down below. spoiler: Next chapter is going to be Stefan centric.


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